We are not quite sure what these celebrities were thinking when they decided to have these strange photos taken of them.
Christina Aguilera
Photographer: "Christina, honey: when I look at you I immediately think Futuristic Indian Princess. Now get in that half of a glass bowl and pretend you're a kitty-cat."
Jennifer Garner
Photographer: "Look, Jen, I know this looks a lot like the SNICK couch but it's all we could find on short notice. You look great!"
Julia Roberts
Photographer: "Julia, you're gorgeous! The only thing that could make you sexier is a genie costume. Let's do this."
Ryan Gosling
Photographer: "Didn't you see Garden State? It's cool, trust me. This look made Zach Braff go from a goofy television doctor to a goofy indie actor practically overnight."
Sharon Stone
Photographer: "A good hat, exposed shoulders, and mom jeans never go out of style... haven't you ever had Glamour Shots done before?"
Cameron Diaz
Photographer: "Cameron, I want you to spread eagle on top of this stool ...but with your knees bent so we can keep it PG-13. But don't look like you think you look sexy right now, I want your face to look completely blasé. Magnificent!"
Jennifer Connelly
Photographer: "Sorry, Jen. We could only find a leather jacket in the size XXL... but we think you can make it work."
Eric Bana
Photographer: "Here's a flower. Do your thing."
Pink
Photographer: "But the jacket matches your hair! Don't worry, the pattern is very in right now!"
Celine Dion
Photographer: "Persian rugs are always elegant."
Angelina Jolie
Photographer: "Trust me, blue eye shadow NEVER goes out of style."
Sarah Jessica Parker
Photographer: "I'm sorry, but where the f*** did that bottle of Perrier just come from?"
Jessica Simpson
Photographer: "When I heard Jessica Simpson I immediately thought big orange padded room. Do you like it?"
David Duchovny
Photographer: "Hi, David? I'm the photographer here for the Architectural Digest shoot — is this a bad time? Do you mind getting down from that spherical ball? Okay, um, we can reschedule, you have my card. By the way, GREAT pants."
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Photographer: "Yes, I want everyone on this shoot shirtless and in overalls. Gay undertones? I don't see it."
Natalie Portman
Photographer: "Did you see the shoot I did with Jordan Catalano? Let's put your hair up and I want you to hold this black plastic tarp. Have fun with it. Great!"
Jennifer Aniston
Photographer: "We'll put you in homely housewife clothes, it'll be great!"
Naomi Watts
Photographer: "You're in a car crash but you're fine because you're wearing a helmet that ironically is made from shattered glass. It's BRILLIANT!"
Melissa Joan Hart
Photographer: "Instead of curling your hair or crimping your hair, let's do a combination of both — but let's just do it to certain strands of your hair, not ALL of it."
Uma Thurman
Photographer: "Did you see that photoshoot I did with Melissa Joan Hart?"
Will Smith
Photographer: "We need more rings."
Liv Tyler
Photographer: "We don't have any mirrors here, so Liv, just put the daisies wherever you want and hopefully it works out."
Heather Graham
Photographer: "I see a retro-futuristic version of Poison Ivy in you. Now lean up against that chain fence and run with it."
Jake Gyllenhaal
Photographer: "Have you ever heard of Simple Plan? No? Well, we're going to style you like a Canadian pop punk group anyway."
Madonna
Photographer: "If you insist on demonstrating your new hobbies, Madge, must it be the one where you swallow and regurgitate your pet goldfish Timmy? All right, then let's at least have you pose out by the pool..."
Thora Birch
Photographer: "Okay, Thora. I want you to stay still and pretend you're a blow-up sex doll."
Kate Beckinsale
Photographer: "The hair, it's like a bun. But instead of wrapping it completely, let's spread it all around your head so it looks like there's a giant spider about to consume her it!"
Anna Paquin
Photographer: "You've won a freaking Oscar so I know you can at least pretend that you're happy so, SMILE!"
Kirsten Dunst
Photographer: "There's no way you disfigured posing like that, promise."
Fiona Apple
Photographer: "You're in the middle of the jungle and you're terrified. TERRIFIED! You'll also have perfectly-manicured black fingernails that are nearly two inches long, but it's for the sake of fashion, so it'll work."
Jim Carrey
Photographer: "Hi Jim, here's a stool."
Christina Ricci
Photographer: "You're on Mars, in a space egg."
Leonardo DiCaprio
Photographer: "Who's Beavis? I don't see the resemblance."
Winona Ryder
Photographer: "I know you're bummed that you got caught shoplifting, but please just sit over by that fire, drag the flowers into the shot, and pretend like you're happy."
Demi Moore
Photographer: "Crimped hair and bows everywhere. Yeah, even the ears."
Christina Aguilera
Photographer: "Christina, honey: when I look at you I immediately think Futuristic Indian Princess. Now get in that half of a glass bowl and pretend you're a kitty-cat."
Jennifer Garner
Photographer: "Look, Jen, I know this looks a lot like the SNICK couch but it's all we could find on short notice. You look great!"
Julia Roberts
Photographer: "Julia, you're gorgeous! The only thing that could make you sexier is a genie costume. Let's do this."
Ryan Gosling
Photographer: "Didn't you see Garden State? It's cool, trust me. This look made Zach Braff go from a goofy television doctor to a goofy indie actor practically overnight."
Sharon Stone
Photographer: "A good hat, exposed shoulders, and mom jeans never go out of style... haven't you ever had Glamour Shots done before?"
Cameron Diaz
Photographer: "Cameron, I want you to spread eagle on top of this stool ...but with your knees bent so we can keep it PG-13. But don't look like you think you look sexy right now, I want your face to look completely blasé. Magnificent!"
Jennifer Connelly
Photographer: "Sorry, Jen. We could only find a leather jacket in the size XXL... but we think you can make it work."
Eric Bana
Photographer: "Here's a flower. Do your thing."
Pink
Photographer: "But the jacket matches your hair! Don't worry, the pattern is very in right now!"
Celine Dion
Photographer: "Persian rugs are always elegant."
Angelina Jolie
Photographer: "Trust me, blue eye shadow NEVER goes out of style."
Sarah Jessica Parker
Photographer: "I'm sorry, but where the f*** did that bottle of Perrier just come from?"
Jessica Simpson
Photographer: "When I heard Jessica Simpson I immediately thought big orange padded room. Do you like it?"
David Duchovny
Photographer: "Hi, David? I'm the photographer here for the Architectural Digest shoot — is this a bad time? Do you mind getting down from that spherical ball? Okay, um, we can reschedule, you have my card. By the way, GREAT pants."
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Photographer: "Yes, I want everyone on this shoot shirtless and in overalls. Gay undertones? I don't see it."
Natalie Portman
Photographer: "Did you see the shoot I did with Jordan Catalano? Let's put your hair up and I want you to hold this black plastic tarp. Have fun with it. Great!"
Jennifer Aniston
Photographer: "We'll put you in homely housewife clothes, it'll be great!"
Naomi Watts
Photographer: "You're in a car crash but you're fine because you're wearing a helmet that ironically is made from shattered glass. It's BRILLIANT!"
Melissa Joan Hart
Photographer: "Instead of curling your hair or crimping your hair, let's do a combination of both — but let's just do it to certain strands of your hair, not ALL of it."
Uma Thurman
Photographer: "Did you see that photoshoot I did with Melissa Joan Hart?"
Will Smith
Photographer: "We need more rings."
Liv Tyler
Photographer: "We don't have any mirrors here, so Liv, just put the daisies wherever you want and hopefully it works out."
Heather Graham
Photographer: "I see a retro-futuristic version of Poison Ivy in you. Now lean up against that chain fence and run with it."
Jake Gyllenhaal
Photographer: "Have you ever heard of Simple Plan? No? Well, we're going to style you like a Canadian pop punk group anyway."
Madonna
Photographer: "If you insist on demonstrating your new hobbies, Madge, must it be the one where you swallow and regurgitate your pet goldfish Timmy? All right, then let's at least have you pose out by the pool..."
Thora Birch
Photographer: "Okay, Thora. I want you to stay still and pretend you're a blow-up sex doll."
Kate Beckinsale
Photographer: "The hair, it's like a bun. But instead of wrapping it completely, let's spread it all around your head so it looks like there's a giant spider about to consume her it!"
Anna Paquin
Photographer: "You've won a freaking Oscar so I know you can at least pretend that you're happy so, SMILE!"
Kirsten Dunst
Photographer: "There's no way you disfigured posing like that, promise."
Fiona Apple
Photographer: "You're in the middle of the jungle and you're terrified. TERRIFIED! You'll also have perfectly-manicured black fingernails that are nearly two inches long, but it's for the sake of fashion, so it'll work."
Jim Carrey
Photographer: "Hi Jim, here's a stool."
Christina Ricci
Photographer: "You're on Mars, in a space egg."
Leonardo DiCaprio
Photographer: "Who's Beavis? I don't see the resemblance."
Winona Ryder
Photographer: "I know you're bummed that you got caught shoplifting, but please just sit over by that fire, drag the flowers into the shot, and pretend like you're happy."
Demi Moore
Photographer: "Crimped hair and bows everywhere. Yeah, even the ears."
